Can I tell you a secret?
I am absolutely terrified of being recognized as a lightworker Goddess, a Lemurian mermaid healer. I’m afraid that people I know may see me, judge me and think I’m a fraud Or that I was such a bitch in a former life that it’s a joke to see me as someone spreading love and light?
Sometimes I wonder if those who knew an old version of me think I’ve run off and joined a whole other kind of cult. And strangers? What if they think I’m too much, not enough? What if they judge me harshly or think I’m evil?
These are real thoughts that swim around my mind – especially right before I publish anything related to being a witch, mermaid, healer, breathwork, or positive affirmations.
But you want to know another secret?
I have never felt more alive, more myself, more confident now that I see myself as a Lemurian Star seed, a witchy healer, who came to this beautiful water planet to spread love and light, and help humanity remember that love is the highest frequency. That you are enough and worthy of everything your heart desires just because you are alive and breathing.
And the funny thing is?
This whole realization came to me as I was obsessing over a hot pink sequin dress.
That’s one part of me that has never changed. I love things that sparkle and glitter. I always have and I likely always will.
But you may not know that I have a penchant for sequins if you looked through my closet. Everything in there historically has been bland and boring. Why? I was afraid of being seen as too much or not enough; I was afraid that I wasn’t worthy of wearing a dress that commands every passerby look at you.
Why did that terrify me to be seen in my beautiful hot pink sequin dress?
Looks come with judgment. And really up until now, I let external judgments rule my life.
So instead of wearing the hot pink sequin dress like my heart desired, I often settled for the little black dress. Or jeans and a tee. Yeah, totally 180 of the look I was going for.
Now there is nothing wrong with wearing a little black dress. The confidence that emerges once you find the little black dress that works for your figure, it’s a game-changer, I promise. Same with jeans and a t-shirt, but I’ve always wanted to wear a hot pink sequin dress. I haven’t because of fear of judgment.
And now that makes me laugh because regardless of what you wear, you’ll be judged. Even in a basic t-shirt and jeans, someone will decide you are too much, not enough because that’s part of life. It’s learning how to stay authentic and true to ourselves despite the external world shaking its head in disapproval.